Never Too Late
by Hermione-2113
Summary: A series of Luby songfics, beginning the day after Foreign Affairs. Abby watches Luka board his plane, thinking back over their time together. Complete...
1. I Will Always Be With You

Abby watched, silently, as he walked away from her, down the airport  
terminal. She stood silent, knowing all she had to do was call out. She  
knew him, better than he seemed to know himself, at times. If he knew she  
were there, he'd turn back, risk missing his flight...maybe even not take  
it at all, if she asked him to. But how fair would that be? 'Hey, Luka! I  
know I've been ignoring you for months, but Carter's mad at me, and I'm  
lonely, so could you please not take this trip that you've been wanting to  
take for so long?' Abby snorted, quietly. It wasn't true, but that was all  
anything she could say would sound like. Her parting words rang in her  
ears.  
  
"Take care of yourself...I mean it." And she did. She meant it, and more.  
  
*I will always be with you,  
Makes no difference where, your road takes you to,  
Even if we're apart, now we're joined at the heart,  
Though our moment may be gone...  
  
You and I will still live on.*  
  
He disappeared around a corner as the announcement of his flight echoed  
from the loudspeakers. Shaking slightly, she sank down onto a bench,  
resting her head in her hand, trying to make sense of the emotional roller-  
coaster her life had turned into. Her joy at hearing from Eric once more,  
and her sadness at the state she found him in. The fear of her encounter of  
the delusional patient, and the niggling thought that 'that's what your  
mother might turn into...your brother...maybe even you...' Clinically, she  
knew that that man hadn't been manic-depressive, but still...  
  
Carter...her shock and sudden horror at the side of him she'd never seen  
before. If she'd been asked, as little as two days ago, she'd have said  
that no matter what, he'd never be that cruel to her. That was one of the  
things that had attracted her to him the most - his stability, his constant  
sympathy. Even with all he'd been through, how could he treat her so only a  
few weeks after he'd carried her engagement ring in his pocket? He'd almost  
done it that night, but he'd backed out; she still didn't know why. The  
scary thing was...she might well have said yes. She wasn't so sure now.  
  
*I will always be with you,  
I'll be by your side whatever you do,  
Other memories may fade, but the ones that we've made,  
Are eternal as a star...  
  
Now I'm part of who you are.*  
  
And Luka...her heart broke freshly, remembering the feeling of being in his  
arms once more, for what she was terrified to think might be the last  
time...because if she knew one thing about him, she knew how he was with  
risks. If there were problems out there in the Congo, she could just see  
him laying his life on the line to fix them. He'd always been like that,  
since she'd known him. He'd nearly been fired countless times for breaking  
hospital rules to save his patient...even yesterday, she'd seen him rushing  
around the hospital, bending over backwards to get one little boy  
treatment.  
  
And he'd taken a risk with her. With all he'd been through in Croatia, she  
almost couldn't believe that he had let another person get close to him,  
given her a piece of his heart that he could ill afford to spare and  
trusted her to keep it safe...her own heart wrenched. Because, of course,  
she hadn't kept it safe.  
  
*And I'll be there with you in the sound of your laughter,  
I'll be in the tears you cry,  
'Cause the way you and I, have touched one another,  
Doesn't end with good-bye.*  
  
Her tears were coming thick and fast now, but no one noticed. She wasn't  
surprised, of course. After all, weren't airports always like that? For  
every joyous reunion, there was a woman left sobbing on a bench, her heart  
tearing itself to pieces because she might never again see the one she  
loved...  
  
Loved. Despite herself, Abby managed a bitter, watery smile. It had been so  
long since she'd even thought that word. Even before, when she had been  
with Luka, she'd told herself it was something else...surely it was just  
lust. Meaningless. She'd told herself that when she'd walked away that last  
night. She'd reminded herself of it again when Carter started paying  
attention to her.  
  
She shook her head. 'You just don't realize until it's too late."  
  
"Too late for what?"  
  
Despite herself, she jumped at the soft touch on her shoulder. She looked  
up...into dark eyes as familiar to her as her own.  
  
*I will always be with you,  
Now and forever, constant and true,  
When you're lost in the night, and you can't see the light,  
My love will see you through...*  
  
"They cancelled my flight," he said softly. "Abby...are you all right?"  
  
At his gentle query, her tears came faster, rushing from her body in the  
flood that had been pooling for so long. After a moment, he sat down beside  
her, and she leaned into him, letting him hold her and letting the tears  
come.  
  
She wasn't sure of most of what he said - he just murmured softly to her.  
Only two words came through, and somehow, they were the most comforting  
she'd ever heard.  
  
"I'm here."  
  
*I will always be there...  
You'll have me there...  
  
I will always be with you.* 


	2. If I Never Knew You

Molly: I've got my fingers crossed;).  
  
ashley: Thanks!  
  
Noa: Glad you liked it, though this one's a bit more on the fluff side...  
  
Fire Dancer: I thought so too:). I also liked yours, 'Lost'. Any other fans  
of this episode - go read it!  
  
twin*muse: More coming right up...  
  
Lizzi: I never actually thought one of my fics could convert someone to  
Luby - great to hear it:)!  
  
Jay: Glad you liked it ~_~.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He wasn't sure how long he held her, feeling her tears seep through to his  
skin, filled with an instinctive anger at whoever had done this to her -  
and the ever-prominent thought that it had been him. People must have  
passed, he supposed. Flights must have been called, the crowd must have  
yelled back and forth. Technically, he knew it, but in those seconds, or  
minutes, or hours, he felt none of it. Heard nothing but her ragged  
breathing, saw nothing but her shaking form in his arms. Emotions surged  
through him, with such intensity that he came close to sobbing himself.  
He'd boarded that plane with a hole in his chest, sure that the next time  
he saw her, she'd be Mrs. John Carter. No matter how selfish he told  
himself it was, he hadn't been able to make himself stop wishing that she'd  
come back to him...  
  
And she had. It had been like a miracle, seeing her sitting there, in agony  
because she was crying, but filled with a kind of awe that she'd been  
crying for him.  
  
*If I never knew you  
If I never felt this love  
I would have no inkling of  
How precious life can be  
  
And if I never held you  
I would never have a clue  
How at last I'd find in you  
The missing part of me*  
  
Gradually, her sobs died away, and she lifted her head, tearstains  
engraving tracks down her pale cheeks. Gently, as he might touch a  
butterfly perched on his finger, he lifted a hand, drying them away. She  
looked up at him, her eyes still shining with unshed moisture, but filled  
with a light he hadn't seen in so long...  
  
"Abby...I'm sorry..."  
  
She nearly gave way to sobbing again at this, but shook her head, raw pain  
in her eyes. Her mouth moved, but she didn't speak, as if her words had  
failed her. Slowly, she leaned forward, meeting his lips with hers.  
  
*In this world so full of fear  
Full of rage and lies  
I can see the truth so clear  
In your eyes  
So dry your eyes  
  
And I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you*  
  
The moment she kissed him, something stirred within her. The traces of the  
bond she'd thought had died out for good sprang to life, a roaring blaze  
from the embers. The feeling she'd had when he'd held her yesterday came  
back a hundred-fold, leaving her gasping with its intensity. When they  
broke apart, she looked up, his expression telling her all she needed to  
know.  
  
A soft smile was etched on his face, a look of quiet wonder. She knew it  
well; it had been months, a year, nearly, but that image had burned itself  
into her heart when she'd first seen it, when they had kissed the first  
time, saying without words that holding her was the best feeling he'd ever  
known. All too soon, sadness and guilt edged onto his face, and he made to  
stand.  
  
"Abby, I shouldn't...Carter..."  
  
She put a hand on his shoulder, shaking her head again.  
  
*If I never knew you  
I'd be safe but half as real  
Never knowing I could feel  
A love so strong and true*  
  
Confusion flickered in his eyes briefly, then he looked down. "Abby, I'm  
sorry. What..."  
  
Tonelessly, she related what had happened the past few days - Eric's call,  
the funeral...he stayed silent, though the flash of stifled anger in his  
eyes was plain when she mentioned how Carter had dismissed her. Eventually,  
she trailed off, looking down at her hands with a sigh. A light touch on  
her chin made her raise her head...and then he was holding her once more,  
kissing her with the urgency that both felt, the one thought in her mind  
and her heart that this was right.  
  
*I'm so grateful to you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
  
Lost forever  
If I never knew you*  
  
The rest of the day was like a blur. He took her to lunch in the small  
airport restaurant, and they joked about how the food was almost as bad as  
the hospital cafeteria. Neither were on shift that day, and they just  
stayed there and talked, about their patients, about Eric...everything  
under the sun except for the plane that would take off for the Congo the  
next day.  
  
Outside, darkness crept in, and the loudspeaker boomed that the airport  
would be closing 'In ten minutes...'. He looked at her, uncertainty in his  
eyes, and she gave an almost imperceptible nod.  
  
*I thought our love would be so beautiful  
  
Somehow we made the whole world bright  
  
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong  
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night*  
  
The sun filtering in through the curtained window stung his eyelids, and he  
moaned slightly, loath to open them, vastly preferring to stay in this  
sleepy warmth...  
  
He frowned, slightly. Warmth? Since when was...as consciousness slowly  
reasserted itself, his memories of yesterday came back. He looked down,  
half-afraid that he had dreamed it all, that the warmth he felt wasn't  
real...but it was. At his movement, Abby shifted slightly in her sleep,  
snuggling closer to him as a smile crept unbidden across his face.  
  
The room brightened suddenly as the sun peeked out from the clouds, and she  
sleepily opened her eyes, blinking a bit. She looked up at him, and her  
eyes widened.  
  
"Luka...?"  
  
"Morning," he said, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards as his voice  
took on a teasing tone. "What are you doing up this early?"  
  
She smiled softly, leaving him completely unprepared when she swiftly  
plucked the pillow from under her head and popped him with it.  
  
*But still my heart is singing  
  
We were right*  
  
He laughed, startled, the first real laugh she'd heard from him in ages.  
Gordana Horvat's words echoed in her memory, and it was with a touch of  
sadness that she realized what the other woman had meant. She was quickly  
snapped out of her musings, however, as Luka gathered up the pillow to  
return fire, eyes sparkling with mischief.  
  
A few minutes later, their impromptu pillow fight came to a truce, and he  
propped himself on an elbow, quirking a brow at her. "I take it you still  
don't believe in breakfast?"  
  
She responded by raising the pillow again, mock-threateningly, drawing  
another laugh.  
  
*And if I never knew you  
I'd have lived my whole life through  
  
Empty as the sky  
Never knowing why  
  
Lost forever  
  
If I never knew you* 


	3. Unable to Stay, Unwilling to Go

Noa: Bit more angst this time, hope you like...  
  
Fire Dancer: Thanks! I was hoping for a little déjà-vu with that scene. And  
nice job on ch. 2 of 'Lost'!  
  
Venus Smurf: My thoughts exactly. I've never been much of a Carter fan, let  
alone a Carby, and the last episode only capped it off.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
All too soon, a muffled beeping startled them both into wakefulness. The  
sound came from the small suitcase at the foot of the bed, and he  
automatically checked his watch. Eight o'clock, the tiny numbers read, and  
he looked up, both of their gazes locked on each other. Yesterday, he'd set  
it to go off at eight, so he could wake up...and catch his plane. The one  
today left the same time - they both knew it. He looked down, as if  
retrieving the small clock, still beeping, was akin to the most complicated  
surgery he'd ever done.  
  
Quickly, the small piece of black plastic was in his hand, and he turned it  
off, feeling deafened in the sudden silence. With something like defiance,  
he reached over to replace it, not in the bag, but on his bedside table. A  
gentle hand stayed his, and he looked up, meeting her eyes once more.  
  
*All my bags are packed I'm ready to go  
I'm standin' here outside your door  
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye  
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn  
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn  
Already I'm so lonesome I could die*  
  
"Abby, I don't have to go. I -"  
  
Humorlessly, she tilted a brow at him. "They must have changed the rules  
since I read the pamphlet last."  
  
She was right, and he knew it. The time off was arranged with Weaver, and  
the med team in the Congo was expecting him. Volunteer organization or not,  
a promise made was one they expected to be kept. Privately, he damned  
himself - but then, as little as twenty-four hours ago, there'd been no  
reason to stay. Watching Abby from a distance had become almost an  
obsession to him, but he'd never realized...he honestly hadn't thought  
she'd miss him when he left.  
  
But then...her eyes then, as she told him to take care of himself, her eyes  
now, watching him with a quiet understanding that only made the inevitable  
hurt worse.  
  
*There's so many times I've let you down  
So many times I've played around  
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing  
Every place I go, I'll think of you  
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you  
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring*  
  
With a heavy sigh, he relented. "No...guess they haven't."  
  
She only nodded, her expression devoid of the pain he saw in her eyes.  
  
It was those eyes that did it. For better or worse, looking into her eyes  
told him what he needed to know. He'd lost her once, by keeping silent.  
Much though he might fear her rejection, far worse would be the pain of  
leaving her again before she knew...and before he did.  
  
"Abby, I..." his voice nearly failed him, and he spoke the words in a  
whisper. "I love you."  
  
*Now the time has come to leave you  
One more time let me kiss you  
Close your eyes I'll be on my way  
Dream about the days to come  
When I won't have to leave alone  
About the times, I won't have to say*  
  
Her breath left her lungs in a gasp, and for a moment, she simply stared at  
him. A sharp pang hit him, sure that he'd been wrong in speaking, that he'd  
hurt her somehow...and she was in his arms, both of them enveloped in a  
wild embrace of regret, sadness, and joy.  
  
When they broke apart, her gaze stayed fast with his.  
  
"I love you too, Luka..." as she said his name, her voice broke suddenly,  
and they kissed one last time, each with a whispered, 'Goodbye...'  
  
*Kiss me and smile for me  
  
Tell me that you'll wait for me  
  
Hold me like you'll never let me go...* 


	4. It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing

Lizzi: That'd be nice;).  
  
Noa: I keep being mean to them, don't I? I agree with you, though - fluff,  
angst, or in-between, a Luka/Abby fic is a good fic.  
  
Mrs. Eyre: They are, aren't they? Perhaps the writers are beginning to see  
the light, if 'Foreign Affairs' is anything to go by.  
  
YugoBaby: An affliction we all suffer. Glad I could help out:).  
  
A/n: All right, everyone's probably going to hate me after this chapter -  
occupational hazard, I suppose. I will be continuing this, though after  
tomorrow's episode, it's probably going to become AU. Also, I doubt I have  
all my facts straight - I don't really know how long it takes a letter to  
be mailed from the Congo, for example. Oh, and just to be clear - I do not  
own ER, or any of the songs that I'm using.  
  
Thanks to kohsamui for some medical info.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Somehow, she made it through the next two weeks. She wasn't in pain, so  
much as...numb. It wasn't until night that she truly felt, the old demons  
coming back to plague in her sleep once more, the nightmare becoming a  
reality when she woke, wide-eyed and shaking, in a cold, empty bed, his  
name dying on her lips.  
  
Only once did she come close to breaking down at work. As she passed his  
room, she'd looked in at the little Croatian boy - the one everyone was  
beginning to call 'Luka's kid'. A flash of memory assaulted her - Luka,  
bending over the unconscious child, caring for nothing more at that moment  
than for him to be safe...picturing him, even now, in the Congo, treating a  
patient just like that, and her eyes had filled with tears.  
  
The staff knew something was up, of course - they couldn't fail to, with  
her giving a highly accurate impression of a waking zombie - but they  
pinned it down to Eric, or 'the Carter thing'. A bitter smile had crossed  
her face the first time she heard someone saying that. If only they knew.  
  
*Hope life's been good to you  
since you've been gone  
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on  
It's not so bad--I'm not that sad  
  
I'm not surprised just how well I survived  
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive  
I can't complain--I'm free again*  
  
The eighth day, a letter from him had come to her apartment, the envelope  
battered and covered with stamps. She'd eased it out, hands trembling so  
badly she feared she might tear it. Frantically, her eyes scoured the  
creased page.  
  
'My Abby,  
I arrived in the Congo yesterday. I know that I should say, 'Wish you were  
here'...but I can't. I miss you so...but I am glad that you don't have to  
see this. We can give only the basest of care, and yet they thank you as if  
you had performed a miracle...even though you know you could have given  
them so much more...'  
  
'My Abby'...her throat went dry at those two words in smudged pencil. A  
wealth of emotions was conveyed in those words, the acknowledgement that,  
even half a world apart, they belonged to each other. The rest, too...that  
was him. Those words could have come from no other's hand. He went on,  
asking her about Eric, how she was doing back at work.  
  
'Time and again I've looked towards the airport, wishing I could catch the  
next plane home...if it were that simple.  
  
All my love,  
  
Luka.'  
  
One word leapt out at her from the wrinkled page, and she read it again and  
again, that one word giving her more hope than the rest of it  
together...'home'.  
  
*And it only hurts when I'm breathing  
My heart only breaks when it's beating  
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming  
So, I hold my breath--to forget*  
  
The phone rang, snapping her suddenly awake where she stood, looking at the  
lines of names across the board. She heard the gruff 'Hello' from Frank,  
then...  
  
"Abby, it's for you."  
  
Her eyes widened, as she crossed to take the receiver from him. Luka had  
warned her that it wouldn't be easy for him to get to a phone, but he'd  
promised to try...and the voice on the other end did have the familiar  
accent, barely perceptible over the long-distance static...but it was a  
woman speaking.  
  
"Is this Abby? Abby, can you...can you hear me?"  
  
"It's Abby," she replied loudly, confusion furrowing her brow as she  
recognized Dr. Horvat.  
  
A pause. "Thank goodness...Abby, he asked me to call you..."  
  
A pang of worry shot through her, and she gripped the phone hard. "What's  
going on? Why couldn't he call me? What -"  
  
The doctor cut her off, voice shaking. "Abby...they think it's malaria."  
  
*Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night  
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right  
I've never looked back--as a matter of fact*  
  
The bottom dropped out of her stomach, and blackness danced in front of her  
vision as she tried to focus on what Horvat was saying.  
  
"Abby, it's a hard strain...they've got him in the hospital, and he's  
fighting it...Abby? Abby, are you there?"  
  
The voice faded from her ears, the receiver slipping from her numb fingers  
as she braced a hand against the wall to steady herself. The 'click' of the  
line going dead echoed in her ears like a gunshot. As if from miles away,  
she heard voices, saying her name, but she ignored them, letting herself  
fall back against the wall.  
  
Hands grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, and she blinked. It was  
Susan.  
  
"Abby, who was it? What's wrong? Is it your brother?"  
  
She ignored her, pushing past. "I've got to go," she choked out, passing  
Weaver by the door. The older woman held out a hand, opening her mouth, but  
she pushed past, and Weaver let her go.  
  
Abby fled out into the open air, finally stopping to collapse on one of the  
hard benches of the El station. "No...no," she whispered, shaking her head  
violently, as if to wake up from a terrifying nightmare. After what seemed  
like hours, she shakingly tried to rise.  
  
Realizing for the first time where she was, memories flooding back of the  
last time she sat like this, how he had come to her...  
  
Suddenly filled with a quiet determination, she stood up. He couldn't come  
to her. She had to go to him.  
  
*Hurts when I'm breathing...  
  
Breaks when it's beating...  
  
Die when I'm dreaming...  
  
It only hurts when I breathe...* 


	5. Calling Your Name Again

Jay: Thanks:)  
  
O.J.: You're not alone with your opinion of Carter - and yes, there is hope  
for Luby. If you like, try geocities.com*/*every_rose21 for more fanfic and  
episode reviews by Kate. (Just remove the asteriks.)  
  
Fire Dancer: Glad you enjoyed!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Ah...this is really short notice, ma'am," said the voice on the other end  
of the line, obviously flustered. "The expense could be -"  
  
"Don't worry about it," Abby cut in, her voice rough. "Just...when does the  
next flight leave?"  
  
"Well, we do have one leaving tomorrow at noon," she said doubtfully.  
"There are a few seats left in economy class. I could -"  
  
"Thank you," Abby said quickly, putting back the receiver as her mind  
raced. She still had a passport - she kept it current, constantly afraid  
Maggie - and now, Eric - would get into trouble somewhere she couldn't  
reach them. A nurse's salary wasn't extravagant, but an economy ticket  
shouldn't be too much of a strain...and right now, she was about ready to  
swim across that ocean, if that was what it would take.  
  
Throwing some of her things quickly in a carryall, she checked her watch -  
9 PM - and shook her head. It was going to be another long night. She  
stretched out on her bed, unconsciously leaving just enough room for him to  
lay down next to her, and clicked off the light, willing her eyes to  
close. It was a skill she was adept at - working crazy hours at a hospital,  
falling asleep on command was vital - but not now.  
  
*I wake up in the dark  
Silence brings me to my senses  
I wonder where you are  
Then I feel a pain, a pain in my heart  
Cause I'm living without your love  
And I'm all alone for the first time  
And it doesn't seem to be a dream  
A dream that will be over*  
  
"Hello? Hello?"  
  
It was no use - a distinctive click told her the line had gone dead. With a  
shake of her head, Gordana Horvat replaced the phone, ducking back into the  
entrance of the dim hospital. Fighting the wave of nausea that always swept  
over her as she entered the place, she headed towards Luka's tiny room,  
still worrying.  
  
What she had told Abby was true - strong as the virus was, he was  
struggling with it. She had barely dared hope that he would - when she had  
come to see him about Ante, only a few months ago, she had found him much  
changed from the man she knew. Danijela's death had hit him hard - she'd  
know it would, but knowing and seeing were very, very different. When she  
had first heard the diagnosis, she had been terrified that he would simply  
give up.  
  
But he hadn't. And somehow, she rather thought that the nurse - Abby - had  
something to do with it. Remembering her face when they'd talked about  
Luka, her voice on the other end of the line just now...her name in his  
fever-dreams - for she'd not told Abby the truth in that. He hadn't asked  
her to call, and she had a feeling that he would have forbidden her to do  
it, if he'd known. But when his fever had spiked 104 that afternoon,  
Gordana had started searching for the scrap of paper with the hospital  
number on it. If she was right about Abby...Luka needed her.  
  
*All the words you said  
Weren't enough to fool this heartache  
Memories in my head  
Aren't enough to stop me falling apart  
Cause I'm living without your love  
And maybe it won't be the last time*  
  
Abby was jolted awake by the loudspeaker, calling out in several different  
languages that they should replace their seatbelts and brace for landing.  
Hers was on, anyway - cramped as this seat was, she couldn't have moved  
much even with it off. Even so, the landing jolted her, her elbow acquiring  
a large bruise, courtesy of the armrest. The brief flash of pain quickly  
dulled, however, as she woke fully and realized where she was.  
  
As soon as they were allowed, Abby rose from her seat, wincing as cramps  
hit her in the leg and back. A few crowded minutes in the jostling flow of  
passengers, and she was out, shading her eyes to look around the airport.  
Spotting a phone, she moved toward it as quickly as her legs would allow.  
The number of a taxi service was helpfully scrawled across the cover of the  
battered phone book, and she dialed it shakily.  
  
*I don't know how much more I can take  
Hope is wide awake and here I go  
  
Calling your name again  
Thinking of all that we two had before  
There's got to be more this I know  
Calling your name again  
Remembering all the love you gave to me  
And how we used to be*  
  
A shadow passed behind the dingy curtain of his room, and Luka raised his  
head, startled at the amount of energy the small movement took. The  
doorknob began to turn, and he half-closed his eyes, waiting to see if it  
was the doctor or Gordana before he opened them. Through the screen of his  
lashes, he watched as a figure entered the room, too short to be the  
doctor...he squinted...or Gordana...who -  
  
In the space of an instant, he knew, his eyes flying open as he struggled  
to sit up.  
  
*I think of what's to come  
Then I turn and see your picture  
The tears begin to fall  
And soon I can make sense of nothing at all  
Cause I'm living without your love  
Hoping that I'll make it this time*  
  
Abby eased herself out of the cab, fumbling with the unfamiliar money for  
the driver. The speed at which he took off left her with little doubt that  
she'd given him an exceptionally large tip, but it didn't matter - she  
turned away from the cloud of dust he'd left in his wake to enter the squat  
hospital building, hope and fear flooding her at once. Her glance darted  
around the large room she found herself in, as if she expected him to come  
out to greet her.  
  
Instead, her eyes fell on a large desk, and she hurried over. The woman  
behind it looked up at her with an unenthusiastic "Jambo."  
  
"Do...do you speak English?"  
  
A sigh. "Yes," replied the woman, and Abby focused on her, trying not to  
miss anything through her heavy accent.  
  
"I'm looking for Luka Kovac?"  
  
She was met with a slightly confused frown, and Abby tapped her finger on  
the register, repeating "Kovac".  
  
She nearly sagged in relief as the woman nodded, pointing at a door near  
the back of the room. She crossed to it, holding the rough metal knob as if  
it were made of glass as she let herself in, her eyes instantly going to  
the figure in the single bed.  
  
She knew even before he looked up that it was him, not dozing as it had  
seemed at first, but wide awake, looking as full of disbelief as she felt -  
surely, she wasn't really here, she was still back in her bed,  
dreaming...then, their eyes met, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt  
that it was real.  
  
*Something tells me this is not the end  
  
Wish I could pretend but here I go* 


	6. From This Moment On

Noa: That's how I feel when I watch the show;).  
  
(A/n - Okay, this fic is now officially AU. Anything 'Foreign Affairs' and  
before, did happen. Anything 'When Night Meets Day' and after, didn't.  
Also, chapter five is up!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Gordana Horvat paused once more outside Luka's room, hesitantly drawing  
back the stained curtain to see if he was asleep. No, he was sitting  
up...she squinted slightly through the spotted glass. Who was that, perched  
on the side of his bed? The dark haired figure seemed to know him well,  
brushing his bangs gently from his forehead as he smiled up at her. The  
woman turned her head slightly, and recognition struck - this was Abby.  
She'd come.  
  
Gordana watched, her first smile in weeks creeping across her face as Luka  
reached up, laying a hand along her cheek. Then, so quickly she thought  
she'd imagined it, he stretched the hand higher, ruffling the woman's hair.  
Abby gaped at him for a moment in indignant surprise, then chuckled  
quietly, saying something about getting a pillow. Luka laughed, a full,  
rich sound, despite the ravages the disease had wreaked on his throat, and  
Gordana's heart swelled as she let the curtain fall back into place. How  
long it had been since she - since anyone - had seen this side of Luka. She  
had a feeling that the both of them would be just fine.  
  
*I do swear that I'll always be there.  
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care.  
Through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,  
For better for worse, I will love you...  
  
With every beat of my heart.*  
  
Abby smiled, leaning back against the headboard - though she moved forward  
quickly as the rickety metal creaked under them. Chuckling, he moved over,  
patting the board firmly. "It's all right. This thing hasn't collapsed  
under me yet."  
  
As she hesitantly lowered her back once more, he stretched his arm across  
the metal bar. She layed her head down, smiling as she turned towards him.  
"I missed this," she said softly, her voice holding a sudden quaver.  
  
"Me, too," he heard himself reply, wondering how his brain could have  
preformed a single task other than looking into her eyes. A sudden thought  
occurred to him, something that had been unconsciously bothering him since  
she'd arrived. "Abby...how did you know to come?"  
  
She looked quickly at him, dark eyes confused. "You asked me to...your  
friend said you'd asked her to call - Dr..."  
  
With a wry smile, he shook his head. "Dr. Horvat. I didn't tell her to  
call. I meant what I said in that letter..." he trailed off, looking around  
the cramped room. "I didn't want you to see this."  
  
She nodded slowly. "It is different from County, isn't it," she remarked.  
"Still..." she met his eyes. "I'm glad I came."  
  
He clasped his hand on her shoulder, as close to an embrace as he could  
offer in this tiny bed. "I am too."  
  
*From this moment life has begun  
From this moment you are the one  
Right beside you is where I belong  
From this moment on*  
  
It was a week later that they emerged from the crowded hospital together.  
He was still weak from fighting the disease, and he carried a rough crutch  
in one hand that he complained made him feel like Weaver. She'd laughed,  
pretending to shrink from him in terror, but had stepped back to his side  
just as quickly when he nearly stumbled on the uneven floor.  
  
He'd looked over at her, a rueful smile of gratitude on his face. She'd  
stayed nearly the whole week - he could remember perhaps two times when  
he'd woken up to find her gone - holding his hand when the fever worsened,  
sharing in his relief when it finally broke. That morning, the doctor had  
walked in with a smile in his face.  
  
"Why are you two still here? These rooms are for sick people. Shoo," he'd  
admonished, smiling. In the weeks before the disease had struck him, Luka  
had become a favorite around the hospital, and her own vigil by his side  
had endeared them, as well. Doctors and nurses often popped into the small  
room, just to say hello.  
  
One, however, had been notably absent. As they descended the hospital  
steps, Abby saw that very figure, watching them from around the side of the  
building.  
  
"Luka? Could you wait here for a minute?" she asked, looking behind her. He  
gave her a surprised look as he settled into the back seat of the cab, but  
nodded.  
  
Reaching the other woman, Abby smiled. "Dr. Horvat?"  
  
"Gordana," she corrected firmly.  
  
Abby nodded, taking a breath. "Gordana...I just wanted to thank you." here,  
she looked back over her shoulder at Luka, waiting in the taxi. When she  
turned back, it was to find the doctor with a soft, knowing smile on her  
face.  
  
"Remember what I told you, that day at your hospital?"  
  
She nodded easily - that conversation had replayed in her head more than a  
few times.  
  
"Abby...I thank you. He truly is what he once was." Smiling, she too looked  
over at the waiting cab. "Being in love will do that to a man."  
  
*From this moment I have been blessed  
I live only for your happiness  
And for your love I'd give my last breath  
From this moment on*  
  
Her eyes snapped up, unable for a moment to respond, but Gordana only  
nodded. "He never asked me to call you. I don't think he would have wanted  
you here." Much the same thing that he'd told her. "Once, I found him  
delirious from the fever," the woman continued. "He was asking for Abby. I  
didn't understand who he meant, at first, but then, I remembered meeting  
you."  
  
"Oh..." she said softly, glancing down. "Still...thank you, again."  
  
Gordana smiled. "You're welcome. Go on, now. He needs you." A pause. "I  
think you need him, too."  
  
Abby didn't stop to debate this, only hugged the other woman quickly, a  
silent gesture of gratitude for the priceless gift she had given to them  
both.  
  
*I give my hand to you with all my heart  
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start  
You and I will never be apart  
My dreams came true because of you*  
  
The flight was hardly smooth, but uneventful. They napped most of the way,  
talking quietly when the turbulence jolted them awake. Abby told him about  
her conversation with Gordana, and he chuckled. "She hasn't changed."  
  
Looking at him, she thought, 'you did'. Twice. Once, after the bombing, he  
had become the kind but withdrawn man she'd first known him. And then  
again, barely two months ago, the night he'd held her so close. His smile  
needed less coaxing, now, though it was most often trained on her. Abby  
chuckled inwardly, unable to mind that very much.  
  
*From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing I wouldn't give  
  
From this moment  
I will love you as long as I live  
  
From this moment on*  
  
The next morning, and every morning from that moment on, they woke together  
once more. 


End file.
